The 10 Lies you Should Tell your Wife/Girlfriend About Your Finances
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
Is it cheating if you lie about where the money went? It depends. Let’s accept one fact: With money and relationships – especially marriage - there are lies. Most consultants will tell you that lies erode trust, compromise your integrity — and can make you (the liar) feel very, very bad. Point accepted. So if honesty is so important, why does survey after survey show that more than 50 percent of American adults in committed relationships lie about their finances to their partners? Let’s face it guys – lying is in!
Most men have learned from experience that it’s okay to keep financial secrets from your spouse, at least under certain circumstances. And why exactly should you sneak around? To keep the peace of course. You don’t want your wife or girlfriend to turn into a nag just because you indulged yourself a bit – it’s your money after all. Here are a few lies you could tell to hide the facts about your financial status.
1. Your salary: Does she need to know how much you earn? Absolutely not. We belong to an age and time when most people are independent and manage their own finances. And, well, you may love your woman but do you love her spending habits too? Think about it: If she is a spendthrift, you’ll soon be paying for her expensive habits and her defaulted credit cards. Do you really want to see your hard-earned money being used to pay for one more pair of shoes or designer bags? Almost anything goes to protect your money.
It’s best to quote a figure much lower than your actual salary. For instance, one man claimed to make $250,000, but actually makes $450,000. They live a fairly decent life and he’s got some money stashed away for a rainy day.
2. Bonus, raises: A relationship may be great for your heart, but it’s definitely not light on your purse. If your income is not phenomenal, you are already stretching yourself thin. So when you become part of a couple, you may find it even tougher to have some ‘me’ money. This kind of situation could be detrimental to your relationship because you begin to rue the fact that you need to spend so much. To keep this from happening, set some money aside for yourself.
For instance, you could overstate a charitable tax deduction, or pad your expenses to get some extra money. If your office gives you a bonus, you don’t need to put the entire amount into your joint account. Squirrel away some (or all) of this money for yourself.
3. Any personal accounts: Don’t keep any separate accounts? Poor you. Did you know that for ages, across countries and cultures, women have always been encouraged to hide money from their husbands? They even have names for this hidden stash — Jewish women call a furtive hoard a knipple, Caribbean women a sous-sous and Chinese women a hui. For generations, women have been told not to feel guilty about hiding their money. They’ve been told to raise some cash for a rainy day. Honestly, why should men be left behind?
A hidden account will help you save some money with which you can buy the things you’ve always wanted without dipping into the daily expenses. Of course, you must be careful your account isn’t discovered or your wife will think you are hedging your bets and safeguarding your individual interests over the interests of your relationship.
4. Debts: This is only for men whose debts are not in a very bad shape. First things first: get your debt situation back under control. While you are at it, you really don’t need to trouble your wife/girlfriend about the state of affairs, do you? If you are confident that you will be able to pay off your debts soon, then why should you lay your credit card statements open to scrutiny?
However, there’s another side to this as well. Experts say that without complete financial disclosure, it can be difficult for you to create an effective long-term financial plan with your wife. If your debt is too high, it’s best to accept expert advice – you cannot have your wife knowing that you’ve lost your home after creditors come knocking on your door. In such a situation, it may be difficult, but being honest is the best.
5. True cost of holidays away from her: Fine, you want to spend some time out with the boys and your wife/girlfriend is quite supportive of your need. But will she be as supportive when she discovers that your week-long trip to Vegas cost you thousands of dollars? Now, if you really don’t want her to nag you to hell and back, it’s best you zip your lips. What you can do is save money for the trip – slowly and steadily. Once you have enough money, go on the trip. Or you could charge the expense to your credit card and ensure that you repay the sum as soon as possible.
6. Failed investments: Ever dealt in stocks, penny stocks or any other kind of investment? There are losses and gains in this business. Every investor knows that you cannot let the losses cow you down and prevent future investing. But does your wife or girlfriend know that. If your losses are not too high and you can recoup the amount on your next investment, don’t bother disclosing the fine details of your investment strategy.
However, if you have invested and lost big amounts meant for other purposes - like college savings for your children - it’s another story. Sean, a sales representative from Chicago, made a risky investment and lost the $30,000 he and his wife had saved up for their children’s college education. He tried to make up the money without telling his wife. Big mistake. It’s not easy to earn such a huge sum of money in a short time. In such cases, it is better to tell the truth than to let your wife/girlfriend discover it later.
7. Your Forex dealings: Foreign exchange is not something you can control beyond a certain point. A depreciation in the dollar could affect your profits or losses. You are probably just into forex and you may lose some money initially. You cannot be expected to explain the details of your dealings every time. It’s best to keep your losses to yourself. Of course, do go ahead and publicize your profits. This will increase your spouse’s confidence in your abilities. In due course, you can tell them about your losses as well.
8. Money spent on your children: It’s not easy to see eye to eye when it comes to finances. If you prefer saving to splurging and your wife thinks that a little enjoyment can do no harm, you are bound to have arguments. According to research, most arguments relate to the money you spend on your children. If you love to spend money on toys, gadgets or clothes for your children and your better half thinks it’s a waste, you’ve got a good fight coming on.
Why let them spoil a good and happy event? A few little white lies won’t harm anybody. If something costs $50, just peg it at $20 or lesser. Just ensure that you don’t make a habit of it or you’ll be deep in debt before you know it. Keep such purchases for special occasions and pay off your bills as early as possible.
9. Personal expenditure and hobbies: What do you do when you purchase something costly for yourself? Do you show your wife or girlfriend the price tag? Quote a lower figure? Or do you pretend not to have bought it at all? As long as you don’t tell them the actual price, you can do what you want. If you want to be honest, be prepared to fight with them over spending ‘that much money,’ or whether the spending was ‘necessary.’
While purchasing a ticket to the game is one thing, what happens if she tries to come in the way of your hobbies? Steve’s wife resented his comic book collection. She thought it was a waste of money and fought with him every time he bought a new book. Instead of trying to work out a solution with him, she began nagging him. Now Steve allocates a certain amount of money to himself at the beginning of every month to indulge in his hobby – money his wife doesn’t know about. This helps him keep the peace.
10. Lifestyle: Face the fact that in this country you are only as good as the lifestyle you depict. Don’t let your huge credit card bill, mortgages and other loans affect your quality of life. It is absolutely natural for a person to misrepresent his professional or financial success to family and friends.
Nowadays, many people think that it is more important to be flush than project an image. Maybe true. But if you are a business person, you probably know the importance of projecting a successful image to prospective clients. It helps you get more customers. Of course, this technique will only help if you don’t delude yourself about your true financial position.
